Did I learn nothing* in college? after years of TRYING I've [almost] eliminated "really" from my writing vocabulary. It's another long journey to eliminate "trying" from my verbal. I'm 23 for christ's sake - if I'm not trying now I don't know when I'll ever try again.
Work isn't that bad when you take away my boss, [select] co-workers, budgets, major label music, and hierarchy. If every day at work consisted of socializing, long lunch breaks, and online shopping then i'd see a future in the music industry. For now, I see a future in becoming a professional Bravo TV analyzer and fart-sound-maker when someone bends over.
Best part/worst part about work would be communicating with Peter. When I say communicate it means we throw sentences at each other in military fashion. Our conversations go:
Peter
Did you get an answer from Bonnie about the vinyl deadline?
Sasha
I called and left a message, also emailed.
Peter
I don't need the play-by-play, give me the bottom line.
Sasha
No.
Peter
No what?
Sasha
No do not have an answer yet.
Peter
How come?
Sasha
Because she hasn't answered my message or email.
Peter
Ok, good. Give me an update by end of day today.
An important lesson is to stay away from the play-by-play. The only issue is that I speak fluent play-by-play, its my first language. Sometimes I can't shut up - my native tongue rambles on leading me into verbal battle with Peter. The more I talk the worse it gets until Peter looks like he's about to strangle me. We are two of the most opposite people trying to work together to "make shit happen"**. I'm always trying to be two steps ahead of him, but I'm just barely catching up at best. My favorite moment with Peter was in the second week of training on the job, I said something funny and Peter said, "ha, you're funny! You're good". I was so proud of myself because recently I've fantasized about being a professional comedian. Its been nothing but a downhill ride from there.
In situations like mine, the best part about work is the [other] people you work with because lets face it, your serious relationships are with you boss and coworkers. 90% of your day is with them, and it's going to be that way until you die or unless you're a zumba instructor (I've recently taken one zumba class and realized how amazing the life of a fitness instructor must be).
It's ridiculous that I'm still intimidated by authority. It's even more ridiculous that authority figures and higher up executives thrive off of that fear - they absolutely love it and its both intriguing and disgusting to watch egos flare in and out of company meetings. The new tour marketing assistant, Yara, got a first hand whiff of the battle of the gods when her boss, Elyse, and Peter got into a power struggle during a planning meeting. We were on the sidelines taking notes when the egos flared and verbal insults were pitched back and forth. Before that day we hadn't exchanged two words, but with one glance at each other we suddenly understood how fellow assistants were pretty much each other's lifeline in the building. we can't lean on our bosses, and we can lean on each other's bosses, we can only lean on each other to make shit happen (he likes to yell this at me and my interns in a southern twang when he's feeling congenial. "We make shit happen! That's the Team Standish way!").
Because I'm in marketing I get to work with all the departments at the label thus interacting with almost every assistant. Having that kind of access has done wonders to my social life. Assistants get it. Especially at this label, we all wade through the same trenches, even the lucky few with fun bosses and little-to-no demand (those are usually the dumber kids who aren't trusted with anything heavier than answering phones and scheduling lunches) get it better than the executives and directors. After a while its these assistant friends who are the only people you can talk to about how shitty your day is or how crazy you boss has been lately. #HollywoodAssistants is only relevant to your assistant friends, not your roommate, not your boyfriend, not your parents. Its so comforting to know that every morning when I wake up with that twang of anxiety and reach for my blackberry to check work email, the rest of my fellow assistant friends are waking up with that same twang. I don't wish this lifestyle on anyone, I'm just glad I'm not going through it myself.
The thought of dedicating myself to one career or type of work so thoroughly that it takes up every last part of my life is about as intriguing as taking a class entitled Hangover Spin at the neighborhood gym on Sundays. At this point in life it looks like thats the only way to make a living these days, no matter what industry. We can't all jaunt off in an enlightened huff like Anne Hathaway does at the end of The Devil Wears Prada and land firmly on our feet in our real dream job after this stint is over.
Its hard to say if i'm inspired by Lena Dunham's bravery ('inspired' used loosely) or if i'm really this bitter. Lines are beginning to blur. so is my eyesight, as i'm now 40% dependent on my reading glasses.
In situations like mine, the best part about work is the [other] people you work with because lets face it, your serious relationships are with you boss and coworkers. 90% of your day is with them, and it's going to be that way until you die or unless you're a zumba instructor (I've recently taken one zumba class and realized how amazing the life of a fitness instructor must be).
It's ridiculous that I'm still intimidated by authority. It's even more ridiculous that authority figures and higher up executives thrive off of that fear - they absolutely love it and its both intriguing and disgusting to watch egos flare in and out of company meetings. The new tour marketing assistant, Yara, got a first hand whiff of the battle of the gods when her boss, Elyse, and Peter got into a power struggle during a planning meeting. We were on the sidelines taking notes when the egos flared and verbal insults were pitched back and forth. Before that day we hadn't exchanged two words, but with one glance at each other we suddenly understood how fellow assistants were pretty much each other's lifeline in the building. we can't lean on our bosses, and we can lean on each other's bosses, we can only lean on each other to make shit happen (he likes to yell this at me and my interns in a southern twang when he's feeling congenial. "We make shit happen! That's the Team Standish way!").
Because I'm in marketing I get to work with all the departments at the label thus interacting with almost every assistant. Having that kind of access has done wonders to my social life. Assistants get it. Especially at this label, we all wade through the same trenches, even the lucky few with fun bosses and little-to-no demand (those are usually the dumber kids who aren't trusted with anything heavier than answering phones and scheduling lunches) get it better than the executives and directors. After a while its these assistant friends who are the only people you can talk to about how shitty your day is or how crazy you boss has been lately. #HollywoodAssistants is only relevant to your assistant friends, not your roommate, not your boyfriend, not your parents. Its so comforting to know that every morning when I wake up with that twang of anxiety and reach for my blackberry to check work email, the rest of my fellow assistant friends are waking up with that same twang. I don't wish this lifestyle on anyone, I'm just glad I'm not going through it myself.
The thought of dedicating myself to one career or type of work so thoroughly that it takes up every last part of my life is about as intriguing as taking a class entitled Hangover Spin at the neighborhood gym on Sundays. At this point in life it looks like thats the only way to make a living these days, no matter what industry. We can't all jaunt off in an enlightened huff like Anne Hathaway does at the end of The Devil Wears Prada and land firmly on our feet in our real dream job after this stint is over.
Its hard to say if i'm inspired by Lena Dunham's bravery ('inspired' used loosely) or if i'm really this bitter. Lines are beginning to blur. so is my eyesight, as i'm now 40% dependent on my reading glasses.
I hope I never forget how I had to read my boss' emails over the phone to him every night as he drove home from work. How I had to torture every employee at the label with deadlines, follow-ups, and meeting requests twice a day every day. I hope I never forget how tight I held my tongue when Peter would contradict himself and prove me wrong over every detail. I hope I don't forget these things because without these experiences, I wouldn't be _____________.
*I love italicized font.
**Peter's catchphrase. He says it at least twice a week and whenever he introduces himself to a work related client, "I'm Peter, nice to meet you. I make shit happen".
